Did I Shave My Head For This?

I'm Slim Shady, the real Slim Shady...

Back in '93 or '94 I was a singing waiter at a place called "Malibu Jack's" at the Underground here in Atlanta. An incident involving a now defunct festival for black college students and a standing ovation (don't ask), forced me to give up my singing career for what I thought was forever.

So naturally, if I was gonna stage a comeback to my singing career I should start with karaoke.

Karaoke: noun: the Japanese term for singing badly in front of total strangers for no apparent reason other than to celebrate your suckiness. Or at least that's what the definition should be in my case.

Who is this guy?

Okay, here's the real reason I decided to try to rejuvenate my singing career: today marks the first annual Freedom Day festivities for yours truly. What is Freedom Day you ask? Why, Freedom Day is the first day in nine years that I haven't had to avoid going to a bar for fear that my parole officer might find out. That's right. Today, I was officially off parole.

This means that I no longer have to be in my place of dwelling before midnight. I can now legally get drunk (even if I don't drink), I can leave the state or even the country without permission and I can even start the whole process over again by committing another crime if I wanted to.

Yeah right. There are many reasons for me to stay out of jail but the most compelling one is this: jail sucks! Gee, I'm sorry if I'm not being straightforward enough about that. It's just that even the most minimum security of America's jails and prisons just... well, they suck. You come when they say, you go when they say, sometimes you have to wait till they say you can use the bathroom. Commit another crime my ass. Crime can kiss my ass. I'm scared straight, G.

I said that I only want red m&m's! I'm goin' back to my trailer!

So to celebrate, I got as many as my friends as I could scare up including minor celebrity Rob Solomon (of American Idol infamy) and told them to meet me at The Star Bar for karaoke Monday.

Fun was had by all, mainly because Rob fulfilled my wish of hearing him sing "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey and his wife, the lovely Cassandra Dear forced me to sing "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow, because she is evil, and her spell cannot be broken by mere mortals such as I.

Next time I'm gonna make her sing. I'll make her sing "Baby Got Back".

Devil Lady and her zombie minions

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Sing it like you mean it at The Singing Station!